The Words Between Your Limbs

Q & A

I’ve been in avoidance of this question for sometime time, mostly because I still don’t think I have an answer.  Also I find it slightly confusing.  Let me start with the first question.  Loathing the thought of permanence derives from a fear, I think…a fear of making the wrong decision and being stuck with it forever.  Or something like that…I don’t ever look into the future and see myself in one place, for the rest of time.  Maybe that comes from growing up as a military brat and moving every two years.  It probably has something to do with my fear of allowing total guards down & experiencing something in the essence of “permanence”…. It much easier to remain slightly detached when you think of things in concept of the “shortness,” as you describe it.  The strange thing is, though, I’m capable of caring so much in some cases and setting all of that aside.  When I start to care about something or someone or a situation, I do it with a fierce passion that cascades over every bit of “logic” and thought that makes me fall into the category of “loathing the thought of permanence”… Perhaps I know it to be a dangerous thing and maybe that is why I try and avoid it as much as possible and enjoy the “shortness” of things so as to not even give myself the chance to care that much and abandon everything else.  THe second part (and what I assume you meant to add a “t” to the end of), The thought of something that perhaps ends, seeing how everything eventually does so…This seems like a short, fleeting thought to me, and I’m not sure if you are referencing the way my mind assumes an end to everything or ….well really I am just confused here.  And the last - Yet you seem to appreciate the shortness of things rather than their longevity….I think I get caught up in moments very easily…and I fall in love with them quickly, and I never want them to leave or change, so I stay there, admiring their light & their aura, observing the feelings I surrender to that short moment, that instance, that snapshot in time.  Those tiny moments fill me up, inspire me, and overwhelm me, and they do it in a way that is much different than a story over time (the longevity).  Perhaps I’m just more in love with those moments & that feeling…I know that this can be perceived as somewhat naive or lacking wisdom, but the fact is I do appreciate the longevity of many things.  It is just a different kind of appreciation or love….I mean, there is such an importance in the threads that find themselves pulling through the experiences of life.  The “longevity” is the part that grounds, that helps you gain wisdom, over all the moments that sporadically shift your mood.  The permanence of some feelings & some things — Well, in an incredibly broad (and probably some what confusing sense) the appreciation for the shorter things, the smaller things, the more spontaneous things probably wouldn’t exist with out the acknowledgment and acceptance of those things that do remain…of the “longevity”….

I’m not sure if this is the right answer, or if there is a right answer, or if I am even interpreting the question right.  But, you apparently have observed the strands of “runner” that still exist in my personality, or in my observance of things from time to time.  I commend you, I also feel analyzed by you…and I wish you weren’t anonymous.